Self-Love is the Answer

I grew up with an amazing masculine figure in my life. My dad is extremely loving and kind. The men that are close to me in my life are similar. They love and respect women. They admire and support them and will protect them if needed. When these special men admire the physical appearance of a women it feels like a compliment. It feels uplifting.

Now for some ranting… Maybe it’s me and all the trauma I’ve dealt with and am still dealing with. Why do some men look at women as if they are a thing, a possession, something without emotions, something to use and discard? I absolutely hate it when these kinds of men look at me. It feels like I’m being undressed by the eyes of these kinds of men. It’s a very different feeling from men that admire me and that feels like they are more in touch with their divine masculine.

Today I had two incidences. During each incident these men stared and looked me up and down as if undressing me with their eyes. There was absolutely no eye contact. Is this because subconsciously they avoid seeing my soul through my eyes? I know this experience is different to that of an interaction with a man connected to their divine masculine, these men’s energies feel different. They make me feel icky.

I’ve lived fairly bra less for many years, but when I need to be in public spaces when I’m not only around friends and my immediate family, I need to wear a bra. It makes me feel energetically safer. I remember a tantric teacher explaining that a women’s breasts are vital energetic portals connected to the heart chakra. This means they are portals to unconditional love, affectional and emotional nourishments (also physical nourishment, but I’m not talking about this today). So, when I don’t wear a bra, I feel more open and vulnerable. Therefore, if I’m braless in these situations where I’m stared at by someone disconnected from their divine masculine, I feel violated. I know I’m very sensitive to energies, yet it’s no excuse for their behaviour. I experienced this since my teens and for a long time suppressed my feminine aspect and embraced my masculine aspect to keep me safe. Or so I thought, but it didn’t work. There has to be balance. I’ve found that over the last few years, since my re-birthing ceremony, I’ve embraced my feminine aspect more consciously and it’s been an incredible journey back to myself. Uncomfortable and vulnerable at first, but oh so rewarding.

Why do we have a culture where men that were born from women, entering this physical existence through a beautiful yoni, feel like it’s okay to treat women like something less than, something to satisfy their needs and nothing else? How were they raised by these women? Did they watch their fathers, or other men behave this way towards women. Are we so disconnected from each other that we don’t realise when we step over someone’s boundary? Are we so disconnected from our hearts that we don’t treat others with the same love and respect we expect? Or are we a world filled with people that don’t love themselves enough? If we don’t love ourselves, how can we give it to others? Yes, this started off as a rant against men that are disconnected from the divine masculine within them, but this is for every person, straight or queer. We need to learn to love ourselves… truly love ourselves unconditionally, exactly as we are without judgement.

According to me the only thing that truly matters is love and it starts with love for the divine being we each are. Love is at the core of everything.

Our country, South Africa, seems to have a rape culture, where so many people have been raped or know of someone who has been raped. Some survivors share their experiences; others hold it deep within. In my mind rape is any form of sexual abuse. It’s ignoring someone’s sexual sovereignty, crossing that boundary that makes the survivor feel like their power’s been taken away. It’s a culture based on the abuse of ones power over another.

What messages do we give children as parents, as communities, as societies?

We should stop waiting for others to do anything about all the chaos in the world. All of these things, wars, deforestation, pollution, hunger, etc. is simply a reflection of what is within. If we are not willing to deal with the chaos in ourselves, it will be reflected in the outer world so that we can pay attention. The change starts with each one of us. Are you up to the challenge to go within, face all the emotions and trauma that surfaces and still love ourselves unconditionally while we work through the trauma we’re carrying in our bodies. While we allow the emotions to flow through us. Get the support we need… and here lack of money is no excuse. There are free services available and reliable online resources. The knowledge and support find us when we are ready for it.

Are you ready to go within and love yourself?